Here's Johnny! by Ed McMahon

Author:Ed McMahon
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: ebook
Publisher: Thomas Nelson
Published: 2010-03-26T04:00:00+00:00

The wedding of Tiny Tim and Miss Vicki was America’s second-highest-rated television event, behind only the Super Bowl.

When Tiny Tim and Miss Vicki got married, it was an event that made Tim “so happy” until six months later when they parted ways.

Miss Vicki should have suspected that her husband wasn’t headed for a white picket fence but perhaps white-coated men when he sang:

Oh won’t you come and love me, oh pretty Vicki mine?

Oh, won’t you come and love me and be my valentine?

Like violets and roses, our spirits will entwine.

Like violets and roses, our bodies will entwine.

Miss Vicki wasn’t to spend very long in that garden; Tiny Tim divorced her in less than a year.

After the ceremony, Tim prepared milk and honey for a toast, but milk and honey never did much for Johnny and me. They made a lousy martini.

“Gordon,” I whispered to Johnny. “For that little boy.”

“Even better,” he said, opening a bottle of champagne. “For those two grown men.”

“Graduates of major universities.”

Johnny did respect marriage—four times, in fact—and he did not play Tiny Tim’s wedding for laughs. With his usual good taste, Johnny didn’t let the show mock Tiny Tim in any way. He must have done it the right way because the show became America’s second-highest-rated television event, behind only the Super Bowl: More than twenty-one million people watched Tiny Tim and Miss Vicki march through the white canopy on our stage and over to Johnny and me at the desk, while Wagner’s “Wedding March” was played.

After the wedding, in keeping with the absurd nature of the whole NBC event, there was a reception on the ground floor of the CBS Building. The happy couple, however, missed the trifecta by not spending their wedding night in a green room at ABC.

At the reception, Tiny Tim came up to me and said, “Oh, Mr. McMahon, I’m so happy!”

“That’s nice, Tim,” I said.

“And I was so honored that you came to my wedding.”

I didn’t want to deflate him by saying that I worked in the chapel. “Well, Tim,” I said, wondering if the solemnity of the occasion called for my calling him Mr. Tim. “It’s an event I will never forget.”

I also will never forget The Wizard of Oz.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.